Last day in Ubud #BaliDisey

Made had his driver hat on today, but it was kind of like mixing business with pleasure. I was being taken to key spots around Ubud. We started off with suckling pig (babi guling) for lunch, followed by The Elephant Keep, followed by the Water Temple, followed by more tea tasting with a gorgeous view of ravines and rice terraces.

We stopped and I bought a hand crocheted table cloth and a wrap-around skirt from a friend of his (I think from Plaga, his village) who had lost her husband recently. Not that I’m a big shopper when I go overseas, but when I do buy, I’d rather buy from someone with a personal connection, so buy I did.

Before Made dropped me off last night, I said to him that he could stay in my room in the hotel tonight. He said that he would check with his boss that it was ok. Smart man. He’s respectful that way. It was, so after all our sight-seeing, we went out for dinner and ended up at the same bar (Bamboo) with the same awesome band. And then back to my room, where he stayed until 6.30am because he had a job taking a guest to the airport.

I was shipping out to Singaparang (where my writers retreat at Sharing Bali was) the next day. We had already agreed that he would be coming to stay with me in Sanur when I finished my retreat. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Holiday.’ From what I can gather, the Balinese rarely take holidays, so this was as much a treat for him as it was for me.

I must say that being involved with a Balinese man has done wonders for my anxious attachment style. Because he is so reliable and consistent and pleased to see me, I find the washing machine thoughts that I usually have with the start of anything new have all but disappeared. A few pop up every now and then, but I turn them over in my brain, scrutinising them like strange oddities before discarding them. English may be his second language, but he is one of the best communicators I have ever met. It’s like we have skipped the godawful dating dance, and have gotten straight into boyfriend/girlfriend mode. He is uncomplicated and lovely to be around. ‘I just want make you happy,’ he says. And apparently this is exactly how Balinese men are. If they feel like or love, they say it. No drama, no mucking around. And before naysayers pop up with their “he just wants an Australian visa” and “he is just using you because you are wealthy” I can assure you this is not the case. I have never felt less used or taken advantage of. Ever.

We agreed that I would call him when I got to Sanur, and I thought I wouldn’t hear from him until then, but he messaged me every day, which is just as well because our plans changed. He was going to bring his motorbike to Sanur, but decided that to bring a car. ‘Better for travel,’ he said. A man with a plan. Just as well, because he ended up picking me up (with all my luggage) from Toya Devasya Hot Springs (near Kintamani) after my retreat and we made the trip to Sanur together.

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